Sunday, March 7, 2010
Time is a funny thing. Once your work life becomes repetitive and busy, it’s easy to just let the autopilot drive you through month to month. I will admit, I’ve been doing that as of late… if that makes sense. I find it easy to just close my eyes and wait for the next month, which in retrospect, might not be the best way to spend your time. Am I going to wake up and find that I’m 40 with no recollection of the past 10 or so years?
In terms of my job, I’ve moved on to a new company, which is always frightening, exciting, and sad. I think it was just a mood I was in, but I really missed my old coworkers for the first part of the week. I still do, but I really need to get over that.
The first few weeks are really just the worst. You don’t remember anyone’s names, you feel awkward, and you feel mostly restricted to your desk. It’s hard, you know? Coming from a place where I had a lot of free reign and lots of fun coworkers to goof around with, it’s been a little lonely. Still, the past week has been pretty busy. Not that things didn’t get busy at my last gig, but as of late, there has been a lot of down time. And jumping into the fray at the busiest time of year is … awkward.
A question I’ve asked myself for the past month was … “when do you know when enough is enough?” And my current answer is that you don’t, but you need to weigh it out with other circumstances and opportunities. You might not be at the end of your rope, yet, but you can’t let another opportunity pass you by.
I left my job without really saying a proper goodbye to everyone, since the last 2 days were effected by the snowpacolypse. I didn’t go in Thursday and Friday, no one was in. It was in a way… easier that way. No awkward goodbyes, because I was dreading that. I would have liked to get drinks with couple of people, though, but that might happen this week. When I came to my last job, couple of people were leaving and there was a great to do about them. Now, it’s changed, which is a shame. (Not that I really wanted anything for myself. There were others leaving before I left, and there was nothing really planned for them.)
Work culture fascinates me. In the last 10 years, I’ve seen a number of environments and I have to say, the most dysfunctional places forges the strongest bonds.
I developed an annoying cough the weekend before I started my new job. REALLY ANNOYING. I managed this WHOLE time to avoid getting sick. And now… to add to the annoyances of being in an unfamiliar place, everyone probably thinks I am carrying the plague, too.
My mood has been easy to foul… lately.
In other news, two of my coworkers have fashion blogs, or something. One of them asked me and the other ladies in my room to post for a Korean fashion blog. Apparently my coworker and I both raised our brows and said… “For what? To show what NOT to wear?” I think I was wearing a thick, semi sparkly gray turtle neck from express and thick gray slacks from Banana Republic. He told me to wear my purple scarf, cause “It looks cool,” he says. That an my blue patent pumps… OMG. I just checked the site and there I am buried among other photos of random New Yorkers. I won’t link there, because it’s quite unflattering.
Overall I really like the people I work with. The people training me are very thorough and very supportive. I feel lucky. Overall I have never been in a circumstance where my direct supervisor sucked. If there was any discontent, it was usually at a higher level…
I’m waiting for spring.
Monday, February 1, 2010
So, I struggled whether to post this, but it isn’t everyday that I have a blog rant/inspiration. To the men in the audience, this is probably something you don’t want to hear about. To those courageous men, it might fascinate you.
I just got back from from an annual gynecological exam. You know, routine. First of all, my copay just went up, apparently. Second of all, my office just hired a nurse practitioner around a year ago. My first visit in this office was with the doctor. Then, I got gardisil shots (which is another entry all together) with this nurse practitioner, which is fine, but she was also doubling as a birthcontrol consultant and in beginning she made me feel a little uncomfortable. For example, she touted using condoms, which is good… but she talked about them with me in a bit of … let’s say condescending manner. I like her, but I wasn’t quite sure of that yet then. I will also say, I picked this office due to it’s facilities (it just moved right next to my office), doctor recommendations, and because he was a male doctor. Seriously. So, it caught me off guard when the nurse practioner was the one giving me my annual, today. My reasoning is this: I’m used to men being down there. Women, I am not.
On a separate note, if you’re a nurse practioner, shouldn’t you be better at drawing blood? I once had a terrible experience with another doctor drawing blood. However, for the past 2-3 years, I’ve had positive painless experiences. I guess I let my guard down. She pricked me on the right hand, and could draw nothing. It bled out, it still hurts. She found a vein, finally, on my left arm, and it was more than uncomfortable. Uhg.
She was quite nice, though, and very polite. She is very sweet and tried her best, I know.
Fail on my part: I kind of scheduled this appointment a little too close to my period. Since you can’t schedule the appointment even a day before your last appointment, I scheduled it today. (Last year, my appt was Jan 29.) I didn’t think about anything else. Woops.
Rant: Why do doctors only give Birth Control prescriptions out in 12 month increments? Other than Deprovera/Seasonale, meant to skip periods, all other birth control is given in 28 day increments. That is considered a month. Now, what about those last 2-3 days at the end of our calendar month? That, my dear, causes most women to run out before their next annual. Case in point, 28 x 12 != 365. In fact, 28×12=336, and 365-336=29… a whole extra cycle + 1day. I expect doctors to know that women have 13 cycles a year, if regulated by birthcontrol. Just sayin’.
Monday, January 25, 2010
How is it all ready almost February? Of course, I saw all those hearts and chocolates covered in red tutus everywhere, but didn’t we just celebrate Christmas and New Years? I’m looking forward to Valentine’s day week, not because it’s Valentine’s day, but because the Monday following is PRESIDENT’S DAY! That means it’s a long weekend for me, bitchez!
But seriously, I find that I want the days to go by faster, because everyday seems more tedious than the one before. Is that depression? And then I realize I lost a whole month, and I kind of want the months to pass by too, because I should be out of this funk when I get more sun, and when more paycheck days go by. Haha. That’s sad, though, because I don’t have too much youth left, imagine if I spend most of the rest of my 20s that way. What a waste! I should be delighting in the days that go by… and the only analogy I can come up with is savoring every bite of my thai curry noodle soup today. Figures. Each day grows dinner once lunch time is over. 
Then I look forward to dinner. Then… sleep.
I’m finding it hard to keep my up my discipline, about work, being frugal, about eating right, and going to the gym. I feel like each day crawls by, but all of a sudden, I’m still caught by surprise. That’s not a way to live. More and more, I am convinced by that.
I feel like perhaps I need a resolution. Not a New Year’s one, but goals for this month. This month’s goals were to go to the gym for at least an hour 4 times a week and keep the apartment clean. I had an easier time doing the former than latter. Still, I should clean the apartment today, so I can say I did it. I need fun projects, though, like reading a book a week for 56 weeks? I should be able to read that much, right? I used to read 200+pages a day for Grad school… freakin’ german Philosophers, for godsakes.
First and second week of January, other than my fashion magazines, I’ve been reading Malcom Gladwell’s “What the Dog Saw.” Ryan got Nocturnes by Ishiguro for Christmas, and I loved his “Remains of the Day,” so I read that. The story, unfortunately, was a bit sterile, especially compared to “Remains…” I started Davies’ “Fifth Business,” but I let Ryan read it first. I took his finished, “Tokyo Vice” by Adelstein, which I am pouring through. Now I am seeing Yakuza’s in every elvis haired older Japanese male.
Of course I can challenge myself to find new work projects, some freelance projects, etc… but that won’t be very enjoyable… and then my procrastination comes out. It’s an uphill battle.
Maybe my resolution should be 3 posts a week? HAHA, start with 1 post a week?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I went to Portland, came back, started the new year at work, had a million annual reviews (ok… just 2), and on a whole felt so unmotivated by everything except my gym membership. In the midst of that, lo and behold, no update.
For the first time in my life, I got offered a first class ticket + a $300 voucher if I would take the evening flight instead of my super early morning flight into PDX. However, I decided not to take it, since although I can just go my mother’s place and hang out (and bite the Newark train fee), I didn’t want to lose a whole day of doing nothing (and I took off from work – precisely so I would get to the west coast early enough to actually do something). So, I got to PDX, Ryan and I got lunch, and then my friend George was going to come over and crash at Ry’s parents’ place for the night. Well, some crazy ass snow came. It shut the town down. George couldn’t even drive to our place, since he wouldn’t be able to climb the snowy hills. If I had taken that later flight and got there at 10pm, I would’ve been stranded!
Portland was fun and relaxing. I didn’t do any crazy shit and I spent most of the time stuffing my face. I gained 6lbs in 7 days, people. Almost 1 delicious pound per day. This was, of course, before the New Year and it’s been 2-3 weeks and I finally just got to my pre-Portland weight. Sigh. Which is still like 15 more pounds than I was at my fittest 2 or so years ago.
I’m trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week. However, fitting my workout around work is cutting most of the it short. 30 minute run here, 10-15 minute weight session there… At least I managed to lose those 6lbs. WHO PUTS ON THAT MUCH WEIGHT AT ONCE?
Anyway, I should change the topic. While Ryan was still in Portland, I was staying with my mother in Manhattan, because I was lazy and didn’t have the XBox at home… and then what was I going to do? Errr… I mean, I missed Ryan. Not the XBox. Ahem. So, while I was at home, I was also flipping through a copy of Elle magazine I bought for the plane ride and there was this crazy set of article of a bunch of bored editors challenging themselves to change up on feature of their appearance everyday… not clothes, but hair and make-up. I think it was interesting, but obviously in the realm of, “you ran out of ideas, didn’t you? This is something I would crazily do for my blog if I thought I had enough discipline.”
So, for a series of 3 days? Less than a week, I know. I came into the office with a Snooki/bumpit half ponytail and lots of eyeliner and shadow. People in the office would ask me, “what looks different about you?” And I would say, “this load of makeup on my face that I never wear?” And they would reply, “No, you did your hair differently.” Facesmack. Still, I will never be afraid of too much make-up again, after Cambodia. 3 Neutrogena face wipes and there was still make up on my face. They gave me new eyelids for shitssake! Anyway, so I know bored when I see it.
Like, for example, there was a time in elementary school where I saw how long I can go without wearing the same top twice. I started raiding my mother’s closet… yes, in elementary school, and cycled through ALL my t-shirts. I am pretty sure I lasted at least 3 months. No joke. I just wore a different tshirt every single day. I had a lot of damn t-shirts. (And yes, this was happening while I was wearing all those crazy leggings, because no one clued me into the fact that leggings were no longer acceptable for everyday. I think my first pair of jeans was this black skinny jeans, because I was that devasted about my leggings.)
Now, I am back to my careless aray of dressing kind of like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, sans make-up, and seeing how long I can continue to get dressed in 10 minutes flat in the morning. Meh. If I think about going to the gym later in the day, I don’t even want to bother doing my hair or make-up. This is a far cry from my last job where I would make an effort to sort of dress up. I was also single then.
Although I am thinking that sometime in the future, I need to rock these eyelid tattoos the girl in the Elle magazine rocked… in pink and purple leopard print that goes over the entirety of the eyelid.