Ms Glass Pilot

Archive for the ‘umisms’ Category


The Crazies

Monday, July 5th, 2010

I was sitting in Bryant Park the other day. It was a nice day and originally I wanted to lay across the lawn. Unfortunately, the lawn was closed and I sat in close proximity to a couple that started chanting. They kept repeating this over and over and then concluded with a cuddle. The guy was clearly leading the show and the woman going alone with it… prompting high-fives and “YAYs!” while throwing their hands up after every chant.

What was the chant? It went like this, “USA! USA! If you don’t like us, GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY. GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY. We’ll kick your ass! We’ll kick your ass! YAY!” over and over again.

The interesting thing is that these two weren’t Caucasian. They looked Asian, Mexican, and Hispanic. Also, at first you thought they were friends just hanging out, but later on, they started to cuddle. These were two crazy freakin’ people who were into each other. That kind of warmed my heart. These people were crazy in a way that the other didn’t mind.

I told Ryan, later when he joined me, “I want to go talk to these people or start the chant with them. What do you think they will do?” He replied, “Uh… maybe kick your assk?” The thing is the sentiment in the chant is not particularly anti-immigrant or anything. They just kept saying, “IF YOU DON’T LIKE US, GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY!” Like dude, maybe I am Asian and I don’t seem American, but maybe I still dig your country? Let’s be friends! Ok, so they did scare and disturb me, but you know, fascinated me at the same time. It’s all kind of romantic.

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Christmas Comes Early

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

So, where I work, Christmas comes early… like now. Things are all a flutter for Christmas festivities and although I don’t deal with it, my coworkers do. They left me a little something on my desk! You can imagine the headaches here.

Timelines are a little screwed up here, which might be why I keep forgetting what day it is. And last month, I completely forgot about my father’s birthday. (Don’t worry I’m not hurting anyone’s feelings who is living… except maybe my mother) It’s not a big deal, but personally that’s disturbing, although I would guess… normal. I mean, I would almost forget my birthday and keep forgetting to do anything for it. Whatevs.

Universal holidays are a little easy, because I can just jump on a bandwagon. And despite not doing anything special, I still want to do something special and love Christmas. Couple of years ago, I was invited for a Hanukkah dinner, and I got up on that bandwagon too. It’s multicultural up in here. Myself, I don’t know what it is, but for birthdays and all… I feel like I’m imposing my plans. Either way, on the date of my birthday I’ve been invited to a goodbye party. Hah. That same friend and I were talking last year about having a barbeque up on the roof and needing a reason to celebrate… oh wait, my birthday. I guess good bye party is as good a reason as any. (She’s going to Japan for like half a year or something)

In other news, April is winding down and the warmer weather is getting a little more frequent, and light is creeping all the way up until 7:30pm. Also, I finished my taxes a few days in advance, all in an annoying Sunday, you want to read all about it. In other news, I am beginning to think that diet coke is an acceptable way of ingesting your caffeine. If you know me, you will know how weird that is.

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Now that the weather is improving…

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

I’m averaging at one entry per month. I thought I should shake things up with a second entry.

Currently, I’ve run out of things to read. The last thing I enjoyed was Jay Rubin’s Haruki Murakami and the Music of Words. I thought I would dislike it, because I’m generally not very interested in other people’s readings of my favorite fiction authors. However, I enjoyed Jay Rubin’s book, because it was more than his interpretations. It had a lot of biographical data about Murakami that really enriched my ideas of his works.

Before that, I finished the Deptford Trilogies by Davies and Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein, both works of which I absolutely LOVED, and Miranda July’s Nobody Belongs Here More Than You, which I thought was indulgent, and at times, interesting, drivel. Eh. I was curious about and picked up Eat Pray Love and consequently kind of regretted it. However, it might be morbid curiosity that keeps me going back for more.

Otherwise, I’ve been eating great and watching tons of Law and Order: SVU. Law and Order, it’s my new thing. I don’t know why I am all of a sudden so fascinated by it. At the end of the day, it’s what I want to watch; experiencing this morbid schaudenfraude.

I HATE that during the week, I get home, cook or buy dinner, and then watch 2-3 episodes of instant watch netflix and go to bed. However, I’ve had lovely weekends of lazy mornings cooking hash, eating on my roof top in the sun, and drinking lots of bubbly drinks. I guess it works out. I’ve become one of those drones that go on automatic pilot during the week to try to bask in the weekend…

I’ve been going to the gym twice to three times a week. That’s it. I’ve been slowing things down and enjoying the sun. I’ve been really enjoying walking around again. I finally bought some bras for the first time in 2 years. Did you need to know that? No, but it’s just such weird and awful knowledge that lets you in on how much I’ve let go of certain things…

Life life life…

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Christmas Shopping

Friday, December 25th, 2009

I try to be a good gift giver. I mean, I try to care what people would like. Usually, I’m good at just envisioning what I would want. I’ve had Sophear and others claim that they enjoy my gifts. I also think the key is that I give gifts to people I know quite well. So, the other day when I was involved in the office white elephant, I thought it would be easy finding a gift. Then I started over thinking it. Do you spend the dollars on a gag gift? Something that doubles as funny and practical? Something completely awkward like a sex toy? Seriously. Or something that people would actually want. I had some initial ideas, like champagne from Trader Joe’s (since the cap was at $20, I can get something nice), but then I knew what some coworkers were doing… Snuggies. Yeah. For some reason this Yankees snuggie got stolen the most.

Tangent: I LOVE shopping for gifts when traveling. I guess, cause I just love shopping when I’m traveling. My mother has a problem, where she would be frugal in everyday life, but when I travel with her, she’s a crazy shopaholic. Anyway, it’s the best time to get gifts. And I actually kind of dislike being pressured to buy gifts. I like to browse a lot and buy gradually. I feel the stores pressure you to get certain gifts. Only certain things are available seasonally. If I thought about this earlier than I would have gone to my go to online store: Think Geek. I haven’t been shopping these days. Seriously. The first time I shopped in MONTHS was last week with Ryan and Tracy. That’s probably why I splurged on the mugs and earmuffs. I’ve been itching to buy things.

I actually had the perfect gift in mind, but it wasn’t anything I can pull off. Stevies’ model photos, autographed. There is this whole HILARIOUS story about how he used to be an Abercrombie and Fitch model, back in the day. Although he is a very good looking man, the idea of him being a 20-30 something six pack half naked model is kinda hilarious. After that got out, we hired a new customer service rep, ie. Kelly Kapor, called MJ and she ended up having these very posters on her wall. She recognized him! Funniest thing ever. Unfortunately, she lost the posters. Anyway. This guy is hilarious for other reasons that would take too long to go into, but it is an unintentional hilarity. Still, we all love him.

He’s the type of person to easily get persuaded to come into work in a Santa outfit and push back his vacation flight. Of course, in the end we told him he didn’t need to… although I do think someone should have dressed up after hours as Jesus, a la The Office, to be offensive. This guy is one of the most gullible person in the office. And he’s such a good sport about being Mark’s main tease.

I was trying to convince my boss to participate and wrap a huge box with a gift certificate to our company store or something. Haha. However, he’s just a scrooge. I pointed out that he could always rewrap the 100s of vendor gift baskets we received. Oh my gawd, this whole week I was munching on chocolates, chocolate cookies, butter cookies, buttercream frosted cookies, caramel popcorn, and chocolate popcorn. For real. I practically did not need lunch everyday (although that didn’t stop me). Insane.

I think I do good on individual gifts for people but these general gifts throw me off. It needs to be unisex and I don’t want to get something random. In the end, since I give out tea quite often, I got a tea set, and it was well received with the person that got it. It came with some dorky lap mug. I also enclosed a silicone teaspoon, which I thought was cool. And a variety of Stash tea.

I think it was the knowledge that last year the present that went through the most people’s hands were the lottery scratch offs. I didn’t understand it, but I thought maybe there was something I was missing. So, this year, I stole some scratch offs. Last year, 3 people stole scratch offs and I was puzzled. I stole the dartboard and kept it in the office. I screwed Ted over, who in the end got a leather wallet. So in the end, I got $18 in scratch offs. It wasn’t very satisfying, actually. I would have rather gotten the borders gift certificate or something. I was actually thinking of taking this one gift, but I’m glad I didn’t. I guess I need it., though It was a coin counting jar. Yup.

This year no one wrapped a present in a shoebox and duct tape, no security needed. ;) And the for most part it was quiet, unlike last year. Last year it was Christmas Eve and last minute thing and we went to go find something during lunch in the snow storm. This year, my cube was my gift storage and I had wrapping glitter tissue and bags galore stored there, along with boxes for Sophear and Danny. This year my presents were different things for just lounging or something. I don’t know. I got them a cool “Around-the-World” tea set (see a pattern – I saw it when I was shopping for white elephant), silicone teaspoon, and other things that promote sitting on their bum.

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