I went to Portland, came back, started the new year at work, had a million annual reviews (ok… just 2), and on a whole felt so unmotivated by everything except my gym membership. In the midst of that, lo and behold, no update.

For the first time in my life, I got offered a first class ticket + a $300 voucher if I would take the evening flight instead of my super early morning flight into PDX. However, I decided not to take it, since although I can just go my mother’s place and hang out (and bite the Newark train fee), I didn’t want to lose a whole day of doing nothing (and I took off from work – precisely so I would get to the west coast early enough to actually do something). So, I got to PDX, Ryan and I got lunch, and then my friend George was going to come over and crash at Ry’s parents’ place for the night. Well, some crazy ass snow came. It shut the town down. George couldn’t even drive to our place, since he wouldn’t be able to climb the snowy hills. If I had taken that later flight and got there at 10pm, I would’ve been stranded!

Portland was fun and relaxing. I didn’t do any crazy shit and I spent most of the time stuffing my face. I gained 6lbs in 7 days, people. Almost 1 delicious pound per day. This was, of course, before the New Year and it’s been 2-3 weeks and I finally just got to my pre-Portland weight. Sigh. Which is still like 15 more pounds than I was at my fittest 2 or so years ago.

I’m trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week. However, fitting my workout around work is cutting most of the it short. 30 minute run here, 10-15 minute weight session there… At least I managed to lose those 6lbs. WHO PUTS ON THAT MUCH WEIGHT AT ONCE?

Anyway, I should change the topic. While Ryan was still in Portland, I was staying with my mother in Manhattan, because I was lazy and didn’t have the XBox at home… and then what was I going to do? Errr… I mean, I missed Ryan. Not the XBox. Ahem. So, while I was at home, I was also flipping through a copy of Elle magazine I bought for the plane ride and there was this crazy set of article of a bunch of bored editors challenging themselves to change up on feature of their appearance everyday… not clothes, but hair and make-up. I think it was interesting, but obviously in the realm of, “you ran out of ideas, didn’t you? This is something I would crazily do for my blog if I thought I had enough discipline.”

So, for a series of 3 days? Less than a week, I know. I came into the office with a Snooki/bumpit half ponytail and lots of eyeliner and shadow. People in the office would ask me, “what looks different about you?” And I would say, “this load of makeup on my face that I never wear?” And they would reply, “No, you did your hair differently.” Facesmack. Still, I will never be afraid of too much make-up again, after Cambodia. 3 Neutrogena face wipes and there was still make up on my face. They gave me new eyelids for shitssake! Anyway, so I know bored when I see it.

Like, for example, there was a time in elementary school where I saw how long I can go without wearing the same top twice. I started raiding my mother’s closet… yes, in elementary school, and cycled through ALL my t-shirts. I am pretty sure I lasted at least 3 months. No joke. I just wore a different tshirt every single day. I had a lot of damn t-shirts. (And yes, this was happening while I was wearing all those crazy leggings, because no one clued me into the fact that leggings were no longer acceptable for everyday. I think my first pair of jeans was this black skinny jeans, because I was that devasted about my leggings.)

Now, I am back to my careless aray of dressing kind of like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, sans make-up, and seeing how long I can continue to get dressed in 10 minutes flat in the morning. Meh. If I think about going to the gym later in the day, I don’t even want to bother doing my hair or make-up. This is a far cry from my last job where I would make an effort to sort of dress up. I was also single then.

Although I am thinking that sometime in the future, I need to rock these eyelid tattoos the girl in the Elle magazine rocked… in pink and purple leopard print that goes over the entirety of the eyelid.

                          

Tangent: I LOVE shopping for gifts when traveling. I guess, cause I just love shopping when I’m traveling. My mother has a problem, where she would be frugal in everyday life, but when I travel with her, she’s a crazy shopaholic. Anyway, it’s the best time to get gifts. And I actually kind of dislike being pressured to buy gifts. I like to browse a lot and buy gradually. I feel the stores pressure you to get certain gifts. Only certain things are available seasonally. If I thought about this earlier than I would have gone to my go to online store: Think Geek. I haven’t been shopping these days. Seriously. The first time I shopped in MONTHS was last week with Ryan and Tracy. That’s probably why I splurged on the mugs and earmuffs. I’ve been itching to buy things.

I actually had the perfect gift in mind, but it wasn’t anything I can pull off. Stevies’ model photos, autographed. There is this whole HILARIOUS story about how he used to be an Abercrombie and Fitch model, back in the day. Although he is a very good looking man, the idea of him being a 20-30 something six pack half naked model is kinda hilarious. After that got out, we hired a new customer service rep, ie. Kelly Kapor, called MJ and she ended up having these very posters on her wall. She recognized him! Funniest thing ever. Unfortunately, she lost the posters. Anyway. This guy is hilarious for other reasons that would take too long to go into, but it is an unintentional hilarity. Still, we all love him.

He’s the type of person to easily get persuaded to come into work in a Santa outfit and push back his vacation flight. Of course, in the end we told him he didn’t need to… although I do think someone should have dressed up after hours as Jesus, a la The Office, to be offensive. This guy is one of the most gullible person in the office. And he’s such a good sport about being Mark’s main tease.

I was trying to convince my boss to participate and wrap a huge box with a gift certificate to our company store or something. Haha. However, he’s just a scrooge. I pointed out that he could always rewrap the 100s of vendor gift baskets we received. Oh my gawd, this whole week I was munching on chocolates, chocolate cookies, butter cookies, buttercream frosted cookies, caramel popcorn, and chocolate popcorn. For real. I practically did not need lunch everyday (although that didn’t stop me). Insane.

I think I do good on individual gifts for people but these general gifts throw me off. It needs to be unisex and I don’t want to get something random. In the end, since I give out tea quite often, I got a tea set, and it was well received with the person that got it. It came with some dorky lap mug. I also enclosed a silicone teaspoon, which I thought was cool. And a variety of Stash tea.

I think it was the knowledge that last year the present that went through the most people’s hands were the lottery scratch offs. I didn’t understand it, but I thought maybe there was something I was missing. So, this year, I stole some scratch offs. Last year, 3 people stole scratch offs and I was puzzled. I stole the dartboard and kept it in the office. I screwed Ted over, who in the end got a leather wallet. So in the end, I got $18 in scratch offs. It wasn’t very satisfying, actually. I would have rather gotten the borders gift certificate or something. I was actually thinking of taking this one gift, but I’m glad I didn’t. I guess I need it., though It was a coin counting jar. Yup.

This year no one wrapped a present in a shoebox and duct tape, no security needed. And the for most part it was quiet, unlike last year. Last year it was Christmas Eve and last minute thing and we went to go find something during lunch in the snow storm. This year, my cube was my gift storage and I had wrapping glitter tissue and bags galore stored there, along with boxes for Sophear and Danny. This year my presents were different things for just lounging or something. I don’t know. I got them a cool “Around-the-World” tea set (see a pattern – I saw it when I was shopping for white elephant), silicone teaspoon, and other things that promote sitting on their bum.

                          

The issue is that my health insurance is United Health Care. And through their portal, I went to the “vision claims,” section and it said UHC Vision. So, I went to the store and told them I have UHC Vision. They said that must be part of a larger vision benefits plan. They guessed Spectera, they looked up my name, and lo and behold: I WAS THERE! So, I get my eyes checked. I give them the $20 copay. Then, they tell me that I have no allowance for frames or lenses. They tell me that lenses are $45 and they can give me a 15% discount on frames.

For a copay, MJ got a new set of glasses. So, I got my prescription and came back to the office to investigate. MJ told me where she got her benefits information on the site, and it ends up she has VSP. Wait, I have VSP too. Why do I have Spectera, also? Is it the same thing?

I called the glasses shop to confirm, and no, it’s not the same thing. I guess UHC gave us a secondary vision plan for exams, except I paid $20 with Spectera and VSP only had a $15 copay. It’s kind of really annoying to me. It shouldn’t bug me, but it does. The good news is, though, that I can go pick up glasses up to $130 in value for a $25 copay. Anything above that I get 20% discount off the amount over $130. That’s pretty decent.

I would get the lens on my current glasses switched, but there really isn’t much of a difference, the doctor says. Just some small tweaks. I just want some new glasses. I think they want me to get some new glasses, too.

                          

I really like my coworkers, however, the first week of work, when I started (and maybe I am walking down memory lane, because my year review is coming up) they gave me this motivational calendar with pictures of landscapes and captions like, “Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.” Really? Why would you ever give your employees that? It’s just asking to be made fun of. And don’t get me wrong, most people here are smart, funny, and ironic, which is why I appreciate them. On the other hand, it can’t even be twisted sense of humor. In the end, it’s probably apathy, which is worse. It was lying around and they gave it out. I think they got it free from their work supplies company.

I had another coworker who used to draw ridiculous doodles all OVER my calendar. She would say, “Girl, this is seriously NOT YOU. I need to get you a new calendar.” LIke, you know Suicidal Bunnies or something.

So, the other day, I bought a new calendar! I am addicted to this discount store called, LotsLess! It’s like Odd Job, and it has all these great thigns that were banished from other stores. I love $99 cent stores, even if the one near me is actually a “$99 and above” store (Yeah, I don’t get it, either. Typically everything is around $1.29). I got this 99 cent calendar of cute poppy 50′s-esque art. The calendar is called “Suburban Socialites.” I would prefer the Suicidal Bunnies, but for the office, I’m a bit cheap. This will do.

You know, and maybe Suicidal Animals aren’t very appropriate for the office. I all ready have a suicidal fruit on my cubicle. Not to mention a creepy photo of myself and 2 other coworkers masked as Steve clones. (That clipping was given to me by a coworker that no longer works here, “Tweeting can make you heartless: Study,” it says. At the time, I thought it was a not-so-subtle hint and a some twisted sense of humor that caused her to give it to me. Of course, I put it up.)

This is all to say that at times, I feel like my calendar is silently mocking me. Well, I win after December, stupid calendar, “I GET TO REPLACE YOU!!!!!” (Maybe I am overthinking this?)

In other news, I left for Cambodia at a weird time. I WAS SO BUSY the day I was due to leave, I barely ate and left 30 minutes later for the airport. This is why smart people like Sopeark opted to stay home the day of. “It always happens,” he says. I, just didn’t want to give up my vacation day for packing. (I also went to work the next day after I came back, so there!) The thing is, the end of the year and beginning of January gets slower for us, since the holiday season is here. The busiest time is Fall, which past. Now, we need to stimulate growth through the slower months. This just means, I don’t need to stay those late nights these days. It’s nice, but also weird. I mean, it’s not like I get to enjoy any daylight, anyway, though… since it gets dark around 4-5pm. Boo.

                          

I did not see Obama. He spoke inside and came and wen through the back (of course), which was blocked off by a big Mack Truck. I kid you not. However, he did apparently go through William Street and wave to everyone!

                          

At my work, we get tons of crazy fan mail. That above is some weird LONG letter complete with photo copied bills and a real $1 bill. What’s up with that? I don’t know.

                          

OMG, and they are just sitting there across from me… taunting me… begging me to have a third. :::shifty eyes:::

                          

Ring ring (coworker’s phone)
“Sure, I’ll transfer you…”

Ring ring (my phone… wtf?)

Me: Hello
CEO: Hey, do you have twitter?
Me: Yes…
CEO: What’s your name. Oh this is *** by the way.
Me: I know. It’s the name of my website domain name.
CEO: What’s that?
Me: You’re not going to let me have my secrets?
CEO: Uhg! Fine, fair enough!
Me: I have different accounts for different purposes… (insert lengthy explanation here)
CEO: So… what should my screename be? I don’t want to be one of those dorks.