But seriously, I find that I want the days to go by faster, because everyday seems more tedious than the one before. Is that depression? And then I realize I lost a whole month, and I kind of want the months to pass by too, because I should be out of this funk when I get more sun, and when more paycheck days go by. Haha. That’s sad, though, because I don’t have too much youth left, imagine if I spend most of the rest of my 20s that way. What a waste! I should be delighting in the days that go by… and the only analogy I can come up with is savoring every bite of my thai curry noodle soup today. Figures. Each day grows dinner once lunch time is over. Then I look forward to dinner. Then… sleep.

I’m finding it hard to keep my up my discipline, about work, being frugal, about eating right, and going to the gym. I feel like each day crawls by, but all of a sudden, I’m still caught by surprise. That’s not a way to live. More and more, I am convinced by that.

I feel like perhaps I need a resolution. Not a New Year’s one, but goals for this month. This month’s goals were to go to the gym for at least an hour 4 times a week and keep the apartment clean. I had an easier time doing the former than latter. Still, I should clean the apartment today, so I can say I did it. I need fun projects, though, like reading a book a week for 56 weeks? I should be able to read that much, right? I used to read 200+pages a day for Grad school… freakin’ german Philosophers, for godsakes.

First and second week of January, other than my fashion magazines, I’ve been reading Malcom Gladwell’s “What the Dog Saw.” Ryan got Nocturnes by Ishiguro for Christmas, and I loved his “Remains of the Day,” so I read that. The story, unfortunately, was a bit sterile, especially compared to “Remains…” I started Davies’ “Fifth Business,” but I let Ryan read it first. I took his finished, “Tokyo Vice” by Adelstein, which I am pouring through. Now I am seeing Yakuza’s in every elvis haired older Japanese male.

Of course I can challenge myself to find new work projects, some freelance projects, etc… but that won’t be very enjoyable… and then my procrastination comes out. It’s an uphill battle.

Maybe my resolution should be 3 posts a week? HAHA, start with 1 post a week?